Living Between the Lines

Who’s wearing the salad dressing?

Due to the lack of photographic evidence, I shall attempt to draw you a picture of the scene when I arrived home from Sainsbury’s with the weekly shop, this morning.
Picture, if you will, sitting amongst those, ‘bags for life,’on the table, 2 cool bags filled with goodies with which to restock the fridge.

First of all, I should say, I am quite aware that the fridge does not need a total restock – it is, after all, still quite full of the weekend’s yet-to-be-eaten bits and bobs. We are low on milk but the milk shelf is still full, containing the two 4 pint bottles of skimmed and semi-skimmed,that are almost empty. The two new ones will need to be put elsewhere for a while.

Now it is time for you to picture what I am wearing. Nothing startling – trousers, T shirt, over-blouse and my favourite pale pink, waterfall cardigan. Got that? Ok.
I reach up to put the large bottle of milk on the top shelf of the fridge where it normally fits, if laid on its side. I give it a slight shove and realise there is an obstacle behind it, stopping it from going all the way in. The obstacle is easily removed, a jar of “something” which I discard as being, “no longer needed.”
The milk now slides into place. Except, as it squeezes into the final inch of space, there is what I can only term, a domino effect amongst the other occupants of the top shelf. I hear a rumble and in slow motion, witness the tiny, unlidded jug of salad dressing (Balsamic vinegar and oil I presume) lose its place and upend itself with a crash.
It is a second or two before I realise what is happening…

On its way to horizontal, the jug ejects its contents as though from a jet sprayer. I feel liquid cascade onto my person, my hair, my pale pink waterfall cardigan, seeping through and splashing onto every item of clothing I am wearing. My face did not escape. I stand there, gaping for a moment. The fridge is covered, from top shelf to bottom in brown, strong smelling, balsamic. It is seeping down the walls, and flowing out of the fridge, across my floor like a brown sludge.
The dogs come to investigate but decide it really isn’t their sort of tasty treat and disappear.
I survey the damage. One arm of my cardigan is now brown and the rest of me must be similarly attired. I discard the cardigan.
The vinegar continues to drip.

I decide there is nothing for it but to go get Steven and see if he can assist. He does. Between us, we manage to empty the fridge and wash the drawers and the shelves and mop the floor. The smell is still strong but I deduce that is down to me. I am a walking salad dressing.

One hour later, I have showered (washed hair too) and changed and am left wondering how that mini disaster ever came to happen in the first place. Who put an uncapped jug on the top shelf of the fridge where I couldn’t see it?
There is some good news. Miraculously, the jug is not broken.

As I said, we didn’t take photographs (shame) but I hope you get the picture!

Debbie 🙂

I am an Author, wife to one, mother to five and grandmother to six. I live in the English countryside in Hampshire, UK, with my husband and two dogs and am a non exec Director for Glow


  • patricia60

    I have never worn salad dressing fresh from the fridge, but we have a wonky shelf which regularly falls down and a broken veggie drawer which will not open properly. An old unit when we moved into this house and with the roof repair we have not had funds to replace the hulk. Oh you must have felt sticky and miserable and your story made me laugh…have we not all known these mini disasters and lived to tell the story. Thank you for sharing. And those dogs were no help at all!!

  • hilarymb

    Hi Debbie – I can see it … it’s the mess and the smell .. yugh – rejected by the natural homely scavengers (dogs) … must be bad! Made me laugh though … glad it’s behind you now?? Cheers Hilary

  • Teresa

    You didn’t need photos. I could well picture the scene and almost feel the dressing showering from the fridge. What a to do! I have had leaky items in the fridge – not that attack me like your salad dressing though!

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