Living Between the Lines,  Mum is the word

Guardian Angels

My Mum
We are at the very beginning of this 12 week (??) stay-at-home—be-extra-careful gig. Already, conspiracy theories abound on the reasons we are all going through this turmoil right now. Any could be true. I won’t add to speculation by dwelling on the cause, be it Alien intervention, God, Greta Thunberg, nature, one of the super powers… because we are in it and despite the sudden panic that sent people rushing to the shops to bag the last rolls of toilet paper and pasta (??) we are managing quite well under the circumstances.

For my part, I have a plentiful supply of lollipops, pasta, waffles and fish fingers because my grandchildren are not allowed to visit. We will survive.

There is the worry of older relatives of course. My 94-year-old mother lives alone, over a 100 miles from me, so is isolated even under normal conditions with a couple of carers going in briefly to do her shopping or spend an hour socialising with her on a Sunday. Other than that, she has her hairdresser who visits her at home and who also cleans for her, doing far more for my mother than anyone could reasonably ask. An angel in disguise indeed.

Dave’s mother who is 90, went to a residential home for a holiday, while her daughter and son-in-law were away on a cruise. The home is now in lockdown and the daughter and son-in-law, stranded on their boat near Barbados. The world has gone mad it seems.

Dave and I come under the category, ‘at risk/vulnerable’ because with his heart and my asthma, we are advised to take the ‘flu jab each year. Our remit is to avoid ‘mingling’ and stay home and keep away from other people. My children are adamant that we do this and of course, we will.

It is my mother, this post really concerns. My mother whose memory is failing, was recently given mild anti depressants which have lifted her mood. The first prescription caused her to hallucinate and to feel dizzy – more so than normal. The new tablets have considerably lifted her mood and though her memory is dreadful, she tends to sound more like her old self.

Last night I phoned her, as I do every evening, to check she was ok. The conversation ran thus:
Me: Hello Mum, how have you been today?) Always rather a silly question because she does not tend to remember)
Mum: Oh, I’m not too bad…I can’t complain…I’ve had someone sitting next to me on the sofa all day… (this is the new sofa of course)
Me: Really? What do you mean?
Mum: Well, when I look round there is no one there of course, but out of the corner of my eye, if I look straight ahead, I can see movement, I thought I saw an arm moving and every now and then I feel someone moving a bit closer to me.
Me: Are they there now?
Mum: Well, yes, I can feel them and I can see them but when I turn to look properly, they disappear…they’ve been here all day…it’s most strange…
Me: Maybe it’s your Guardian Angel Mum, come to look after you. (I hesitated to say it might be someone come to take her away)
Mum: Well, that would be nice, but I don’t know…it’s most odd.
Me: Or maybe it’s a trick of your eyes…(she has had cataracts and still has one in one eye)
I did suggest that it might be her sister-in-law, who died recently, coming to check she was ok. The lady in question was always very kind and caring.

Of course, common sense tells us she was imagining it, maybe her eyes are causing her peripheral vision to distort but the part of me that wants to believe in something greater than this current crisis, wants to believe that she does have a Guardian Angel, that indeed, we all have one.
So, with that thought, may your Guardian Angel look after you through this period of uncertainty.
I shall certainly be keeping a look out for mine…

I am an Author, wife to one, mother to five and grandmother to six. I live in the English countryside in Hampshire, UK, with my husband and two dogs and am a non exec Director for Glow


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