Time was, I was the one assisting people with their computers and IT problems. I was the one, coding, building websites and even building a computer or two. I was as familiar with motherboards and Y connectors as I have ever been with motherhood and Y-fronts. I may be a bit rusty here and there with the coding, but generally, I still pick up new technology quickly. So, what has happened to change this? First, I decide to top up with petrol on my way to the bank. I drive into the petrol station and pull up beside the pump. The first one has a large notice stuck to it, “Out of Use” I have to reverse to the next in line. The pumps seem to be new. Very smart, I think as I pick up the nozzle and prepared to insert it into the tank. I click the lever. Nothing. I click again. Nothing. Is this one out of order too? I check, no, no out of order notice has been attached. There is a touch screen I see, a little belatedly. I press to notify cashier I want to pay at kiosk, I want to use the pump. “Kiosk waiting to activate…” Nothing happens. Two cars ahead of me drive away, successfully filled up and paid presumably. Doubtful of the pump’s ability to activate, I jump in my car and reverse again, driving round to the next line. This time I go straight to the touch screen. I notify kiosk, I wait for activation. Nothing. I am puzzled to put it mildly. Someone else who arrived after me, drives off, apparently happy. I stare at the screen. I must be missing something. I could attract someone’s attention or go and ask but the cashier is miles away, there are no attendants around. I decide to start again. I put the nozzle back in its holder and press to activate pump. “Kiosk waiting to activate” pops up. I stare at it for a moment before I notice that there is something else to press, something that I had not noticed before. It is now obvious I must press this before anything will happen. I press the relevant tab. The pump gurgles into life. I fill up my car. I am the last car left on the forecourt. Second, I drive into town having finally filled the car up with petrol, to pay in a cheque at the bank. Now it must be said that with online banking and card payments, I rarely use a cheque these days and rarely receive one. However, my 91 year old mother regularly sends me a cheque for my birthday. It is this I am about to pay in. I walk up to my bank which looks comfortingly familiar on the outside. Inside, it seems to have undergone a transformation since my last visit (now when was that? A year ago?) I walk over to the machine where you can pay in cheques to save time. I go through the usual motions. I insert my bank card, I choose to pay in. I look for the part where it asks if you are paying money in by cheque. That option does not appear to exist. I see ‘pay in by card’ does that not mean transfer money from card to account? How confusing. I am loathe to dabble given my recent trauma with the petrol pump. I decide to cut to the chase and ask for help. I turn and walk to the counter except there is no counter. There are a lot of work stations and a sort of lectern but no counter…no line of cashiers waiting to assist. Luckily, a kind lady banker, waiting in the wings, sees me and asks if she may help. I smile at her and wave the cheque in her face, “Just trying to pay in a cheque but I am not sure which option I need to press,” I say reminding myself of some IT illiterate soul. “Oh, we have changed those, want me to show you how they work?” she asks. I look around at the unfamiliar landscape that was once my bank, “You could tell me where the rest of the bank has gone, too,” I quip. She laughs. (at me or with me?) The paying in a cheque thing is simple of course, I should choose pay in by card because there is nothing for cheques. She runs through it and it is pretty painless to be honest but I am totally taken aback by the changes that have happened since I last had to actually go into the bank. On reflection, I am not sure it is a lack of IT knowledge that is to blame but rather too much knowledge that makes dealing with the simple stuff, offline, so difficult. As for the banks, they are beginning to look like those alien space ports depicted in science fiction movies. How long before the staff hovering in the wings are replaced with robots? I give it a couple of years… To step back in time a little, this is the Castle we stayed in for my 60th birthday at the beginning of November. Situated in the middle of nowhere…no technology to speak of and a Halloween birthday dinner to boot. What more could I want?